In the midst of a hard, painful, tearful day, there is still this...

I am delighted to say that a few people have accepted my challenge so far! Aunt Sue was first, she sent me 10, so I added 10 more to her list to encourage her to think of 80 more. OurAndi did it in her blog - which I recommend reading just for the heck of it. It's a worthwhile 20 minutes or so a week, I promise. My friend Carol has sent me 50-ish so far, a few amended, and has promised to try to add more (I'm going to see if I can post hers here too, when she's done) and also dear Hannah Bright.
Hannah - who I think is 15 (though her soul, as you will see from her list, is much, MUCH older...), who should, in my opinion be the library's MASCOT, who makes me believe in divine possibilities just by knowing her - gave me permission to print her awe-inspiring, just downright inspiring:
100 Things I Like About Myself:
1. I read at least one book a day.
2. My middle name(Bright) never in my 16 years of being have I encountered another with that middle name but when I do, I'm going to kiss them and ask what is(one of) their favorite
book(s).
3. I LOVELOVE LOVVE words and do all I can to learn more about them(I have read Webster's cover to cover at least 14 times, and study forgone languages whenever possible)
4. I memorize poetry obsessively and to perfection, sometimes spending up to 3 hours on a speech/sonnet/extremely-long-poem
5. When it does not distract others from the music, I lie under the piano when it is being played, it heightens the sound and experience for me(especially if it's Brahms)
6. I read encyclopedias for pleasure(and other non-novels that many people tend to dislike out of a classroom setting - histories, science books, methods . . . other things) obsessively and can never get enough knowledge of . . . well, most anything worth being a scholar on.
7. I am a Christian, and am also very sad about how my beliefs have been skewed by other people who, in regard to their actions, are not.
8. I love Richard Harris(and I cry over his voice).
9. I love Richard Burton(and cry over his voice).
10. I can whistle fairly well.11. I believe in fairies, goblins, brownies, orcs [she even included ORCS!:], changelings, waifs, niyads, ents, polkas and driyads.
12. I LOVE moss.(and most of the things it flourishes on)
13. I love Rudolf Nureyev(I scream over his voice:).
14. I can draw anything (and nothing) fairly well(and am not afraid to try)
15. I dream about things before they happen(and have all my life)
16. I THRIVE off books and poetry of ALL kinds . . . and love to write letters when I have the time.
17. I LOVELOVE LLLLOVE art and give to it whenever possible.(music, books, dance, visual, people)
18. I have read Les Misérables countless times and am not weary of it.
19. I have read MANY books countless times and still adore them.
20. I have beautiful friends, who are like family to me, and I make certain they know it as often as possible.
21. I have failings, and am a flawed human being.
22. I cry when it is warranted(and when it's not)
23. I have never denied(verbally or by my actions) that I have a soul.
24. I ADORE Bjork [!!!].
25. I love weeds. [Dandelion Liberation Front approves! ;]
26. I give flowers(wild and otherwise) to loved ones and complete strangers(and have made gazillions of friends in that way)
27. I sit on my roof in rain and snow as well as sunny weather.
28. I love the way I feel before/after a storm: everything seems sharper, and more alive.
29. I kiss trees.
30. I have ALWAYS admired and respected American Indians, and am proud to be a distant relation(my great-grand mothers on both parent's sides were of different tribes)
31. I love scarves and will wear them with anything.
32. I have goodgood friends who range in the ages of 5 to 87; and I love and treat them all as equal(and sometimes BETTER :D) to(then) my peers.
33. I have never been made ashamed of "weird" things I do, say, or wear by people the truly care about me.
34. There are chapters in my life that are seldom read and certainly not aloud, and that's O.K.
35. I have withstood hurtful things from people who could love me.(though, how can I say this knowing you will read it Sam? YOU who have had hell to crawl through and ended up blooming in spite of it all, and the truth is, I have a wonderful, awesome family, but my cousins HAVE thrown mud/rocks/branches at my on different occasions(all because I didn't want to play Truth or Dare), at every(and I mean EVERY) social gathering they tell me(most of the time in front of others) how ugly I am, my lips are paper-thin, my hair is thin and non-colored, my legs are so short, I am a midget, I am so short they could use me as a prop, my arms are chubby, my teeth are bucked(I had BRACES for heaven's sake!), my IQ is ssssssoooooooo low(they know that's not true hehe), my eyes are too small and SO close together, my ears are bigger then Dumbo's, my chest is out of proportion with the rest of my body(oohhh it burns me up!), my butt is huge, my stomach is HUGE, you get the picture. All of these things they say in one setting, and more, they seem to be inventing new wrongs every time I see them, I have tried talking with them about it but they always turn it into "Hannah, CAN'T you take a JOKE?!" but they never laugh. I'm over-reacting, I know and I'm sorry. When I THINK of what some of my FRIENDS not to mention people I don't know have to DEAL with I could just kill myself for whining over a few curt remarks, but it gets tiring.)
36. I am in a jazz band.
37. I love(LOVVVVVVVE) philosophy, and often will walk out among the stars and dew in a muddy soccer field and scream to the sky - alone: "WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT, ALFIE?!!!"
38. I make up words and phrases to describe things, and have heard strangers using them.
39. I don't watch T.V. at all or listen to any other radio station but NPR.
40. Despite a frequent addiction to day-dreaming; I am capable of firm and decided action.
41. I want to live in Estonia one day(even if it's only for a few months).
42. The reason I am considering nursing as a profession is because of a Snowdon photograph.
43. I have a deep respect for water, and it is one of my favorite elements.
44. People have opened up to me with problems they have said they share with no one else.
45. I love my brother and talk to him about a lot that goes on in my life and the world, and he(although 9) usually understands.
46. I sing in many "inappropriate" places.
47. I name things I use. My bike, my roller-skates, my pens, my guitar, our piano, our van, my coffee cups . . . etc.
48. I believe in the phrase "to thine own self be true" and try my utmost to keep to up. I am also passionately honest with other people.
49. I blow kisses constantly.
50. I understand that the quality of death, like that of life, must be of an infinite variety and color.
51. I can speak conversational Farsi.
52. I can speak conversational French.
53. I cook some mean scones [Andi could've added this one too! :]
54. I have read all of Shakespeare's works.(the complete sonnets, plays, everything)
55. I have INCREDIBLE friends who love and enjoy(most) of the things/people I do.
56. Despite contrary belief I am not a feminist, but I do believe in equality of the sexes.
57. I LOVVVVVVE all kinds of tea and coffee, and will make it whenever the opportunity arises.
58. I don't have a problem with inter-racial(I hate that term, it sounds so CLINICAL) marriages.
59. I dance around the bathroom when I'm brushing my teeth.
60. I love to listen to stories, true and untrue, especially if an elder is the teller.
61. I have lots of foreign friends, who have told me they feel more comfortable with me then any other American they have contacted while here.
62. I loved vintage before vintage was cool(and I MEAN THAT!)
63. I try to see beauty in "dappled" things.
64. I hate excuses and try my best not to make them for myself.
65. I have scars, and that is O.K. with me.
66. Fear drives the world(and me), I know that, and try to be unafraid.
67. I have, at one time or another, lent everyone I know(and some I don't) grace.
68. I have the ability to laugh at myself.
69. Mary Shelley is (one of) my hero(s).
70. I have been named "the grammar nerd" by a college English teacher.(though I'm probably slaying everything I have learned here)
71. Befriending dirty, "ugly", homeless, junkie, sluttish people doesn't scare me.
72. I am fluent in sign language and have used it on countless occasions.
73. I have defended myself and friends as well as broken up physical and verbal fights and (have also) never lost(I had to slap a prostitute once though).
74. I wear mis-matching clothes.
75. I hate prom and everything having to do with it.
76. I love the city. I love the lights, the sounds, the metropolitan vibe...there is so much energy, life...filth, corruption, anger, blood...with all that said, I have never lived in a city and would die for my family's farm.
77. I celebrate Mardi Gras every year(usually by myself or with Isaac)
78. I have a love/hate fascination with carnivals of all kinds.
79. I have read the Bible from cover to cover.
80. I have also read "The Origin of Species" "The Feminine Mystique" "the Koran" and other various religious writings, have weighed and measured their ideas, and come to the conclusion that the Bible is absolute truth.
81. Although I believe people are as diverse as leafs, most of our struggles/emotions/reactions are akin to one another, and are not at all different.
82. I can surf well.
83. I believe that how you relate to people is one of the most important things in life.
84. I have been accused of pointing out how stupid "everyone" is all the time, and responded with "Wait, I haven't told you how stupid I am yet!"
85. I believe you should not reject what you don't understand, for with understanding there may be acceptance.
86. I play dress-up.
87. I have had near-death experiences, and come out better each time.
88. I can dance well.(9 years of Ballet, I SHOULD be able to!)
89. Not many things impress me.
90. My kittens.
91. My tear-bottle.
92. I go barefoot a lot.
93. I can sleep well in uncomfortable places.(on rocks, sticks, in wetness, etc.)
94. I am a Southerner, not a red-neck, and could care less about the flag.
95. I have never had a crush on a guy before, and am glad. All the men I love are dead.
96. Guys and girls find it easy to relate to me, and(most of the time) I to them.
97. I am (by Barry's definition) a "walking paradox".
98. I have done/said things, been laughed at, and continued because whatever it was made me happy.
99. I love mud puddles.
100. I appreciate and treasure Sam Lovelace's friendship(and ALL she does for me right down to smiling!) and love her this *spreads arms as wide as they will go* much! :)

Love is the most beautiful of frustrations because it is beyond the power to express. I love you, Hannah Bright"

Yes, she's a real girl, and I am lucky to know her. I can vouch for many of the amazing things on her list, and though some are surpises(farsi?! surfing?! wow!), none are shocking. I'd be proud to be just like her when I grow up, and I am proud to know her now. Thank you for all your band-aids, Hannah Bright! I love you too!

Keep making those good lists folks - you might even surprise yourselves!
much love,
-s