i'm sad to say that this post won't be as happy as the last couple. :( i had another one of those
!#$% bizarre unbelievable sam-cidents that has left me wounded, exhausted and drugged to the flippers. the hospital report says (and i quote) "multiple dog bites to chest and left thumb."
NO, i didn't try to get friendly with some strangers' "nice" doggie. believe it or not, it happened this morning during a cozy, early morning lie in, watching tv and talking. i had Shinny (the Wheaten Terrier) on the bed with me and gail (after early walkies and sometimes late ones, we all pile into her bed for coffee & trash tv therapy. this morning was 'Nanny 911'), loved up and relaxed. Lola (the Bijon) wanted up and her little teddy bear legs are too short to get her up there. i got up to pick lola up and put her on the bed and shinny, in a fit of jealous rage, viciously attacked little l-o-l-a - and i, caught in the middle, was the only one who sustained any injury - one of which is pretty bad (and it's NOT on my thumb.) we rushed to the hospital, blood all over the floor (which shinny kindly licked up before we got out the door! UGH! i guess the first couple of tastes weren't enough*....). i had to drive 'cause gail can't, so that was real fun, and gail is new enough to the area that we had to look for the frickin' hospital - whee. four hours in the ER - of course we made friends with all the folks in there with us. there were groups of people we met who barely spoke english**, and several different languages, so that was fun. good thing, too, 'cause otherwise, it was !#$% MISERABLE. hurting, oozing, waiting, watching people suffer*** - NOT my favorite way to spend a sunny, gorgeous saturday, you know?
gail was patiently waiting it out, but i couldn't help but be aware of her physical discomfort, and of course i was obsessing about the expense and trouble. and beneath it all, there was the fear of treatment and healing and pain and scarring in a very delicate, not to mention HUGELY ego-based place... :(
the staff was nice - and SO many people here are comics fans, so i bonded with the nurses (all nice looking latin men, darn it...) - but the reality was that the tear on my right breast was such that it could not be stitched - flesh was gouged out and there was no repairing it - and the bite on my thumb was neat enough to need no stitches. i got swabbed, ointmented, tetanused, prescripted (antibiotics, in case of septicemia. YES, i WILL take them all), given a little bag of gauze pads, foil packets of bacitracin, a few bandaids, some tongue depressors (for the ointment, i suppose - or maybe they thought i needed art supplies. who knows?) and a little roll of tape and sent on my merry (ok, not merry. definitely NOT merry) little way. no stitches, no testing, no xrays, nada - and (including the prescription) it cost FIFTEEN !#$% DOLLARS MORE THAN GAIL IS PAYING ME TO BE HERE FOR THE ENTIRE THREE WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
can you !#$% believe that?!?! i cried more over that than even the pain and the vanity issues!
i just figured it out, if you paid the 4 people who handled me 15$ an hour, kick 100$ to the doc who saw me for less than TWO minutes (that would give him 3000$ an hour) then the two band-aids (THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE BATMAN ON!) , 4 packets of ointment, 2 tongue depressors, little stack of gauze, roll of tape and tetanus shot come to approximately EIGHTEEN DOLLARS EACH! oh - they also gave me a little cup of ice water. i suppose they didn't charge me extra for the VERY helpful advice: "Don't break up a dogfight." !#$% *&!%#!

so yeah, it was a rough day.
gail was a trooper. in fact, she just brought me a cup of calming Aveda tea. :) we were both exhausted, but life goes on, so we actually managed a couple of light errands while awaiting my scrip to be filled. we got cuban sandwiches on the way home and we were so hungry that we ate them in the car (gail only had a little melon and cottage cheese for brekkies, and i hadn't even made it that far when the $#*! hit the fan) and then we had to go straight home and walk the little darlings - shinny still speckled with sam-blood.

the day was not a total bust though. we just found out yesterday that my replacement is not coming after all. which means basically helpless gail would be even MORE helpless. :( she had a little meltdown over it yesterday (all of this happened while we were at the pool), but by the time we got home, she had not only come up with a cunning plan that will save her $ in the long run (she was going to have to pay a dog-walker, get someone to drive her to the grocery, etc.), keep her fairly independant, and save her peace of mind, but she had already kicked the plan into action. she ordered one of those grammy scooters, and it came today, and we have already got her successfully walking the dogs (attached to the scooter, so they can't pull on gail) pretty much by herself. the early evening walk i went along, to check out kinks, and the last walk, i just stayed near the house, but within earshot... the new Publix market (which also has a pharmacy) is opening up scooter distance from here in 2 weeks, and she has good friends and neighbors that she can call in a pinch. we will get her stuff re-arranged/re-measured/etc. so that she can manage things easily (take the extra tp out of the high storage cabinets, make sure she has manageably sized food and drink containers, etc.) and she is working on re-learning her world with her temporary (though i think 3 more months of this would seem like an ETERNITY!) limitations in mind.
*whew!*
tomorrow - lord willin' and the creek don't rise - will be an easy day. our only real plan is to go to the latin market for lunch and souvenirs, do a mini errand run and then sit by the pool. oh, and practice not killing the dogs with the scooter - though i think at this point, neither of us would mind TOO much. :(

in other good, strange news, i have an appointment early monday a.m. with a lawyer who specializes in personal injury cases, re: the motorcycle accident back in October. i met him (by sam-incidence) when we took Shinny to the vet on thursday (so nice to have heard in person that all her shots are updated!). when he told us he was a lawyer i said "gosh! you seem so nice
for a lawyer!" and he laughed, then said "well, believe it or not, i got into because i wanted to help people." *bing!* i told him what happened, and he said "Come see me." now both parties have lawyers in Florida - and mine is a nice person! wish us luck. :)

ok, the drugs - and more importantly, the battered little body - say "sleep". i will keep ya'll posted. i am hopefully having a little biscayne bay kayak trip this week too - barring shark attacks, farmhouses falling on my head and freak rains of fishes - so i will tell all!

much love - and more bizarre serendipity,
-sam

*i've heard this about myself... :)
**i actually got a HUGE compliment from one young woman, a Haitian Creole girl - who lives in South Miami, which is significant to the comment - there with her sick baby and ENTIRE family (nice. i was also invited to call her mother, formally known as Sister Calyx, "Maggie". :) her little sister's phone range and i began to sing along with the ringtone and she said "Guhl, you ah SO ghe-tto!" That's like having Liberace say you're so gay! :)
***one of the many highlights was watching a poor homeless woman - drugged and a bit belligerent, perhaps, but needy nonetheless - come in and try to get comfy and when security couldn't make her go, they called the PoPo. strangely, it made me hurt a little less when i thought 'there but for the grace of....'