So FINALLY I have the sort of boyfriend who will lie in bed with me, being lazy and fantasizing about ...
... how GREAT it would be to have a tank*! Yay, me!
I was telling him that I’d always wanted one of those mini-bulldozers, anyway, and wouldn’t that make a great little cute little tank? (moogiemoogiemoogie!) I mean, it’d be really hard to actually hurt much with it... I probably couldn’t run over a whole bunch of po-lice (pronounced 'po-leese') cars or any, um, completely random and hypothetical auto body detailing shops... near Tryon. But actually in South Carolina....
... durnit.
Chris then said that it might be neat to just build something to squush**, and we began to dream up this GREAT "installment/performance art" idea.
What I would do is get some nice city to lend us a bit of park area (which we would take good care of while we did this). We would designate our work area, and then set up two building spaces in there (cordoned, and with good safety parameters, of course.). One corner would be the place for building the tank onto the minicrawler. The other would be for the building construction. I would get a crew together, six people total, maybe. Three for the buildings, three for the tank, (ooh, paintball gun turrets, loudspeaker…) and we could interchange between building projects as needed. For example, we’d probably need all six to lower the tank shell over the crawler frame... Maybe 8 people, who knows. Six seems about right, though. We could spend, say, 42 days, camping on site, and building this little tank and this little ‘city’. Maybe we could get an outside crew – like my brother – to build some little scale cop cars… mooowahahaha! The public could come and watch us do this, all throughout the process. At the end, I would get to climb into that little tank and RAMPAGE!!! RAAAR! YEAH! WHEEEEE!
Wouldn’t you like to come see that? And kids would LOVE it. We could take up donations to pay for the materials, and, and, and, maybe they’d let me keep the tank...
No?
Oh well.
So, if any wealthy art aficionados read this, or any brave city managers with something extra in the budget for community art, or anyone with a used minicrawler they’d like to donate, then please, sign my guestbook and let me know! We’d LOVE to bring this show to YOUR town!
Support the arts!
love,
-s

*you know, after reading this sentence, I thought 'wow. What a couple of weirdos. We deserve each other.'
**that’s pronounced "skwuhsh". rhymes with "mush", as in "rooms".