Today's rant is courtesy of Aunt Sue. I wrote her a long e this morning and realized that it encapsulated today's news just fine. I did edit out a personal thing or two, just so Susie and I could keep some things between us, but I didn't think she'd mind me sharing the news. I left in the good links I sent her, too.
Much love,
-Sam

Good morning, SusieQ!
Well, I got depressed last night and did something drastic. I did the SECOND worst thing a woman can do when she is down and craving change (#1 is getting married.) I cut my hair.
I've only ever trimmed my bangs before - never the "full nelly". My early attempts at cutting my bangs were TERRIBLE. I put up with months of bad hair after those miserable failures (one right before my wedding. *sigh*). I finally learned to trim my bangs nicely - and sparingly (thanks to Baron, my wonderful barber), but that took about 30 years!
Last night we were trying to get ready to go to Asheville to see our friends' sitcom, like we always do on Wednesday night, and I felt fat, and yukky, and discontent with my whole life. I cried, threatened to shave my head, quit my job, run away from home, etc. and poor Chris sat there with me and encouraged me to tell him all. I did - and he still likes me (go figure), but then I convinced him to go on without me, because it was his birthday-eve, and our friends were expecting us.
As soon as he was out the door, I got up, poured a glass of wine, and went straight to the bathroom and got the scissors. Nearly two hours later - the glass of wine still almost untouched (if you can believe THAT!) I had me one of the cutest little haircuts you have ever seen! It's a nice, neat little 20's bob, slightly longer at the front than the back, which is cut close to my hairline at my neck, in a little curving arch. Yes, I even managed to cut the back myself! I still have some chin-length curls to frame my face and set off mama's cheekbones, too. I can't wait to see Baron and ask his opinion. I don't think he'll be mad at me for cutting it myself. He has often told me that he believed I'd be a really good hairdresser. The last time I went for a trim, I told him that if I was a hairdresser, I would think of each head as a sculpture, and then cut the hair like that, so when I pulled out the scissors last night, that's what I thought about. That's also why it took so long - that, and trying to get to the !@#$ back! ;)
I thought you'd be proud of me for that. We both know that it could have been a TERRIBLE disaster, too. In fact, probability-wise, it should have been. I found out this morning, when I called to see if he'd be in after I get off of work, that Baron (and his parents, the other two employees of Smith's Barber Shop) have gone to DC, and won't be back for DAYS! :O Lucky me, huh? I would have had to wear a hat and scarves to work for the next three days!!! :D
I scared Chris to death last night, too. He knew I was sad when he left, so when he came home, I made him go in my room and sit down and turn off the light, while I waited in the bathroom. I told him that I had done something drastic - and he remembered me saying that I was going to shave me head - so he had to wait in the dark to find out. I played it all serious, too. I came in and sat beside him - he tried to feel my head to see if I was bald!!! I told him that I had cut my hair, and I wanted to prepare him. Then I turned on the light. I wish I had a picture of the look of relief on his face!!! :D You would have laughed SO hard, Susie!
Today is his birthday, and we have the whole day planned. This morning I got up early, bathed (put on a pretty dress and some lipstick to show of my new do), then got him in the tub, fixed him and iced coffee, and then out on Billy Joels' greatest hits (he LOVES Billy Joel. Man after your own heart, huh? :) He got dressed and said he was going to treat me to Waffle House.
On the way, I stopped by Mr. Camp's house at the bottom of the hill. He cut me a whole bunch of pretty gardenias so I could do my yearly "Gardenias for Ladies" day. He is such a nice man.
I had Chris drop me off at the Waffle House on his way to get $, I told him I'd get us a table. I had a little birthday candle in my purse, and I slipped it to our waitress and asked her to bring him a Honey Bun after breakfast with the lit candle. We had a nice breakfast. I talked with everyone around us, and gave away several of my gardenias. After we ate, Kat brought the Honey Bun out with the lit candle, and we sang happy birthday. Then she told Chris that it wasn't an official Waffle House Birthday unless he got "smudged", and she smooged whipped cream on his nose!!! THEN she told him his breakfast was on the house! Nice, huh?
Then he drove me to work, and headed back to the house. One of his presents from me was a video (that I got brand-new in the book sale for $1.00 - woohoo!) and he said he was going to go home, watch that, and nap. I worked on Tuesday morning for Gigi, so I get off at 1:30 today. He's going to pick me up, and then we're going to go to his mom and dad's for a cookout lunch and his favorite cake (another good reason to dress up a little. I like to impress his mom. :). After that, we'll go to the grocery and pick up some snacks for tonight. Stewart is running our first d&d game in MONTHS - maybe almost a year, at his nice house tonight. Sarah, my best co-worker girlfriend will be there, and our friends Jamie and Erin. We're going to make lots of bad junk food (Chris and I are making chips and queso and Texas caviar), and Chris has requested a store-bought red-velvet cake (Ingles, not Bi-Lo), which is also Stewart's favorite. And I will make my famous iced coffee. Woo! We are gonna' be awake all night! :)

Oo! We just had some minor drama in the library, too. This older gentleman came in, and he was looking a little... 'chemically distracted'. He started saying some wild - but not mean - things, and then HE STARTED TAKING HIS CLOTHES OFF!!! :O
He really wasn't a bad man, just a little drunk and a lot mentally ill, I think. But when he went into the children's section and opened his shirt to a sweet Grandma, Miss Ann Stewart, and her little grandaughter, Heather. He was asking them how old they thought he was and if his shirt being open bothered him - thank the Lord Jesus that Miss Ann had the wherewithal to nicely tell him "YES!", so he did button it up for a minute, but that distressed me, so I called the police station (which is maybe 100 yards from here). There was no answer, so I called town hall, and Doris sent our wonderful new Town manager, Ernie Williams down (he is absolutely fantastic. I keep telling him I wish he would run for president...).
Ernie came in and gently engaged the man in conversation, got him to sit down, put his shoes on, and then walked him down to the cafe for a cup of coffee. (Andy Taylor style. :) THEN, five minutes later, the Chief of Police, Kevin (who's also a very nice guy), and his sidekick ... (let's just call them Barney and Gomer) pulled up at the front door. I heard Kevin say "I'll go around the side!", like we were having a hostage situation in here or something! Then 'Gomer' came in the door WEARING RUBBER GLOVES!!! *sheesh*.
Well, that's our excitement for the year here in old Saluda! ;)
I love you SusieQ. Here are some fun word-puzzle sites to loosen up those cogs, and I think that, since this letter comprises all of today's news, I am going to reprint it as my 'rant' today. Thanks!
Wishing you an unrusty mind, some big love-feeling, and gardenias today [and that goes for all of y'all out in Day-Off land, too!),
-Sambolina