hello, lovely peeps!
our library is trying to build a new main branch, and they are fundraising like crazy. in order to help out, i did a painting and donated it for a raffle. i am selling tickets and i have made a vow to sell at LEAST 100.
to see this lurvely (I think) piece, go to my amusesam yahoo group http://groups.yahoo.com/ (if you haven't joined yet, enter "amusesam" - without quotes - in the "JOIN" box, and then do whatever it says - an no one gets hurt... :) look at the photo called "Storytime" - click on "full size" to see the details (there are 9 hidden creatures! see if you can spot them all!)
the tickets are 1$ each, or 6 for 5$, and i would LOVE it if one of my friends won this...
i will bring tickets to the next geek out, and leave some with buffy, or call, write, and i will make sure you get tickets!
xoxoxoxo
-sam
Friday, October 03, 2003
Thursday, October 02, 2003
i will spare y'all the horror of the ultrasound experience. i will also give y'all a moosh-break. but i feel compelled to give y'all something worth a damned...
so here are some things that means a lot to me:
God's Grandeur
The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.
And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs—
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.
-Gerard Manley Hopkins
-and, for balance:
the lesson of the moth
i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into
an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires
why do you fellows
pull this stunt i asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense
plenty of it he answered
but at times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
and then we shoot the roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves
and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity
but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself
-Don Marquis
much love,
-sam
so here are some things that means a lot to me:
God's Grandeur
The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.
And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs—
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.
-Gerard Manley Hopkins
-and, for balance:
the lesson of the moth
i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into
an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires
why do you fellows
pull this stunt i asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense
plenty of it he answered
but at times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
and then we shoot the roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves
and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity
but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself
-Don Marquis
much love,
-sam
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
Well, despite all behavioral evidence to the contrary, my MRI came back perfectly normal. Actually, it showed that I have sinusitis. Someone told me that this is like, a 2,000$ test. I have no idea how much of it my insurance will pay. To tell me that I have sinusitis.
At least it’s not a brain tumor.*
My blood tests also came back normal – with the exception of an elevated white blood cell count, which could be easily related to the sinusitis.
Meanwhile, I am getting weaker every day. Mornings are ok. But by afternoon, I’m shot. And it always seems to get worse after I eat.
So, Dr. Jeff took more blood this morning, testing for some sort of adrenal issues. Blahblahblah. Someone very “kindly” pointed out this morning “he probably just needs a new boat.” Thanks people. This is helping.
NOT.
Everyone else IS helping though. The calls, the e’s… (Dean, man, you are too precious. Mike. Moo.)** the Buffy-Breakfast-Love. You all know that it’s hard for me to be ‘baby’. I’m not good at it, and the connotations are too much for my delicate (but apparently very normal. Ha!) brain to handle. You have all managed to be sweet and thoughtful and sentimental and kind and concerned and just make me feel loved and appreciated and worried about. This means the world to me. I hope y’all all won’t too disappointed & feel like y’all have wasted all this concern and kindness if I turn out to be ok.***
So tomorrow a.m. I have an ultrasound. I am supposed to drink SIXTY-FOUR OUNCES (isn’t that a !@#$ gallon?!) of water at 7 am and hold it until after this is done. (it allegedly BEGINS @ 8:30) HAHAHAHAHA! These people are INSANE! I am going to try, nonetheless, but I tell you, it sounds like an accident waiting to happen…Hurhurhur.
Sorry.
So that’s where I am on that particular map.
On the map of my head – well, the Orc Queen issues are eating me up… but I am not turning my back on them. I am pondering and puzzling it through, like a good little OCD patient. : )
And as for the map of my heart, I am torn between a kind of loneliness and fear that I didn’t even imagine was possible for me, and between amazement at the love and gentle concern my friends are so effusively heaping onto me. It seems impossible that both conditions could exist together, but c’est moi – or perhaps, c’est la vie.
And speaking of friends and effusive love… Today, October 1st, is my favorite day of the year. I usually take the day off from work and do something amazing for myself (I’ve gone on trips to flea-markets, rented rooms for the pool and luxury of it, gone to foreign places – like South Carolina – with Lu, taken long hikes inna woods, I saw my first live Opera by chance on one of my 10/01 adventures once, Madame Butterfly, too…) This year, in all the hubbub, it slipped my mind to take the day off. So I sat at work. I did have a nice lunch cup of coffee (appetite has gone out the window, but I’m still gaining weight. !@#$ lovely…) with a beautiful sweet boy and his even more beautiful sweet dog. I made him laugh. That was nice. And the day’s still not over… Maybe I will go home and take Luna out somewhere nice. : ) But no matter what I do today, I realize that Goddess has given me a permanent October 1st prezzie. Today is the birthday of one of the most beautiful, wonderful people I have ever had the good fortune to con into liking me. I’ve mentioned her and her many good deeds here time and again, but my words and even this photo of her on a Harley (there’s a Harley?) just can’t do justice to this amazing lady.
Buffy, happy birthday! I am so proud to be your friend and a member of your family. Thank you for all that you do, and for just being you. Much love, respect, and admiration. I hope we have years of back-door giggles ahead of us. I’ve been celebrating your birthday all of my life – I just didn’t know why until I met you! :D
And to all of my friends, even the ones I haven’t met yet, I wish you good things on this day. Fall is here, winter is coming, Carpe Diem!
Oh, and before I forget – happy birthday to Selma, too! Hers is today, and her sister Ayla’s is on my second favorite day of the year – May 1st!
Much love – and lots of cups of tea,
-Samwise
*or an HOMUNCULUS!!!!
**My MOTHER even wrote. And her note didn’t send me into terrified hyperventilation or make me want to put my fist through the wall – or even delete it from the page.
hm. i wonder if i should tell the doc about that, too?
***this is at least partially a joke.
At least it’s not a brain tumor.*
My blood tests also came back normal – with the exception of an elevated white blood cell count, which could be easily related to the sinusitis.
Meanwhile, I am getting weaker every day. Mornings are ok. But by afternoon, I’m shot. And it always seems to get worse after I eat.
So, Dr. Jeff took more blood this morning, testing for some sort of adrenal issues. Blahblahblah. Someone very “kindly” pointed out this morning “he probably just needs a new boat.” Thanks people. This is helping.
NOT.
Everyone else IS helping though. The calls, the e’s… (Dean, man, you are too precious. Mike. Moo.)** the Buffy-Breakfast-Love. You all know that it’s hard for me to be ‘baby’. I’m not good at it, and the connotations are too much for my delicate (but apparently very normal. Ha!) brain to handle. You have all managed to be sweet and thoughtful and sentimental and kind and concerned and just make me feel loved and appreciated and worried about. This means the world to me. I hope y’all all won’t too disappointed & feel like y’all have wasted all this concern and kindness if I turn out to be ok.***
So tomorrow a.m. I have an ultrasound. I am supposed to drink SIXTY-FOUR OUNCES (isn’t that a !@#$ gallon?!) of water at 7 am and hold it until after this is done. (it allegedly BEGINS @ 8:30) HAHAHAHAHA! These people are INSANE! I am going to try, nonetheless, but I tell you, it sounds like an accident waiting to happen…Hurhurhur.
Sorry.
So that’s where I am on that particular map.
On the map of my head – well, the Orc Queen issues are eating me up… but I am not turning my back on them. I am pondering and puzzling it through, like a good little OCD patient. : )
And as for the map of my heart, I am torn between a kind of loneliness and fear that I didn’t even imagine was possible for me, and between amazement at the love and gentle concern my friends are so effusively heaping onto me. It seems impossible that both conditions could exist together, but c’est moi – or perhaps, c’est la vie.
And speaking of friends and effusive love… Today, October 1st, is my favorite day of the year. I usually take the day off from work and do something amazing for myself (I’ve gone on trips to flea-markets, rented rooms for the pool and luxury of it, gone to foreign places – like South Carolina – with Lu, taken long hikes inna woods, I saw my first live Opera by chance on one of my 10/01 adventures once, Madame Butterfly, too…) This year, in all the hubbub, it slipped my mind to take the day off. So I sat at work. I did have a nice lunch cup of coffee (appetite has gone out the window, but I’m still gaining weight. !@#$ lovely…) with a beautiful sweet boy and his even more beautiful sweet dog. I made him laugh. That was nice. And the day’s still not over… Maybe I will go home and take Luna out somewhere nice. : ) But no matter what I do today, I realize that Goddess has given me a permanent October 1st prezzie. Today is the birthday of one of the most beautiful, wonderful people I have ever had the good fortune to con into liking me. I’ve mentioned her and her many good deeds here time and again, but my words and even this photo of her on a Harley (there’s a Harley?) just can’t do justice to this amazing lady.
Buffy, happy birthday! I am so proud to be your friend and a member of your family. Thank you for all that you do, and for just being you. Much love, respect, and admiration. I hope we have years of back-door giggles ahead of us. I’ve been celebrating your birthday all of my life – I just didn’t know why until I met you! :D
And to all of my friends, even the ones I haven’t met yet, I wish you good things on this day. Fall is here, winter is coming, Carpe Diem!
Oh, and before I forget – happy birthday to Selma, too! Hers is today, and her sister Ayla’s is on my second favorite day of the year – May 1st!
Much love – and lots of cups of tea,
-Samwise
*or an HOMUNCULUS!!!!
**My MOTHER even wrote. And her note didn’t send me into terrified hyperventilation or make me want to put my fist through the wall – or even delete it from the page.
hm. i wonder if i should tell the doc about that, too?
***this is at least partially a joke.
Sunday, September 28, 2003
well, howdy.
*sigh*
:)
life is actually pretty ok today. stewart just reminded me that i have one more day before i have to go to the doctor, and i am going to spend that day enjoying a day with buffy and returning a few of her own million kindnesses by helping her clean the house she just moved out of THAT IS FOR RENT. CHEAP! nice place too. e me if you're interested. :)
i also went to a lovely briday shower for Principessa Sallie. all her royal court and fam were in attendance. the food was good, the company pleasant, and the scenery insurpassable ladies, thank you.
tonight i am going to see 'once upon a time in mexico with stewart, so today will have been a day totally devoted to the appreciation of beauty.
to continue in this vein, i also offer you a newly updated day off for your viewing and philosophizing pleasure.
:)
man, i am such a cheeseball.
do enjoy the updates. there's a new cartoon (#30! whoa.), an updated hottie of the fortnight (ow!), and something for you fellows to smile about, too. the new photo gallery is from the album cover and promo shoot that i did for The Whiskey Sisters (www.whiskeysisters.com), and they are simply stunning. the pictures are nice, too.
i suppose if you're reading this, then you don't need the URL. i will however, mail the URL to those slackasses of you who don't read my webpage.
and let me know what you think. sign my guestbook, or write me @ amusesam@yahoo.com.
xo
-s
*yes, one of the whiskey sisters - see the new photo gallery - hubba hubba! @ http://www.samsdayoff.com/gallery1.html)
*sigh*
:)
life is actually pretty ok today. stewart just reminded me that i have one more day before i have to go to the doctor, and i am going to spend that day enjoying a day with buffy and returning a few of her own million kindnesses by helping her clean the house she just moved out of THAT IS FOR RENT. CHEAP! nice place too. e me if you're interested. :)
i also went to a lovely briday shower for Principessa Sallie. all her royal court and fam were in attendance. the food was good, the company pleasant, and the scenery insurpassable ladies, thank you.
tonight i am going to see 'once upon a time in mexico with stewart, so today will have been a day totally devoted to the appreciation of beauty.
to continue in this vein, i also offer you a newly updated day off for your viewing and philosophizing pleasure.
:)
man, i am such a cheeseball.
do enjoy the updates. there's a new cartoon (#30! whoa.), an updated hottie of the fortnight (ow!), and something for you fellows to smile about, too. the new photo gallery is from the album cover and promo shoot that i did for The Whiskey Sisters (www.whiskeysisters.com), and they are simply stunning. the pictures are nice, too.
i suppose if you're reading this, then you don't need the URL. i will however, mail the URL to those slackasses of you who don't read my webpage.
and let me know what you think. sign my guestbook, or write me @ amusesam@yahoo.com.
xo
-s
*yes, one of the whiskey sisters - see the new photo gallery - hubba hubba! @ http://www.samsdayoff.com/gallery1.html)
