am i really such an easy stereotype?

most of you have probably either read or heard of “the hipster handbook”
i’ve not read it all, because some punk@$ weenie ganked our copy*, but i felt fairly certain that i couldn’t really be narrowed down to any one category. then the same guy published “food court druids, cherohonkees and other creatures unique to the republic” and i got a little nervous, but still, i know me well enough to that that i am fairly unique and balanced blend of american geek, so no real sweat... UNTIL...
i read in the info about another book (that i think is really just a joke, currently - a’la Nazi She-Wolves of the SS – but hopefully will really be published some day – a’la Nazi She-Wolves of the SS ) called “Cyborgs, Libertarians and People Who Like Vin Diesel”**. as i said, i don’t think this book actually exists yet***, but i am expecting to be interviewed any day now.

thinks (i meant ‘things’ but i think this was freudian slip, not typo) are zipping along here on the edge of the record.
i still cry for missing luna every day. the weather and being outside so much more makes it very hard to carry the weight of the grief. she is always at the edge of my vision (in the car – especially in the truck – too.). it’s as if there is a hole in the world where she is supposed to be. i don’t know if i’ll ever get over that. i kind of hope i don’t. it’s almost as if she’s still here. i can’t touch her, but the memory of her sun warm fur and her smell is still as real as rain. i know her face so well, her look of ‘i adore you – now, let’s GO!’ is as readily available to me as closing my eyes. we’ve started working on the yard and i run across her little depressions where she liked to nap and hide from the sun – under the azalea by the front steps, under the bed of my truck, beside the carport wall, and out by the hammock, and i break down from the realization of how much she meant to me. i comfort myself with remembering all our good times and trying not to think too much about how unsafe i feel now, and with realizing how strong i really am, how strong i can be, how much i can take.

work is crazy for both of us. chris was able to quit his part-time job and go to work for himself full time. that’s a big leap, and he is rightfully proud.
i just took another part-time job, but it’s also a research study out of unc-ch, and similar to the work i’ve been doing, so still senior oriented, health related, and specific to walking, so i love it. it’s not as safety-related as the WWDS project, though it is much more health-issue specific, and i am not the manager of this project (i am the local project mgr. for WWDS) so it doesn’t conflict heavily with my other work, and can almost be done simultaneously in many cases because it deals with a lot of the same people, places and organizations. the hectic part is that we are getting busier on the WWDS project (as well as everything else we do) because the weather is nice, and starting a new project is always hectic. i’m babysitting tonight and tomorrow night, and walking a 5 mile walkathon for AMM tomorrow morning. *whee*

today i’m off to the gallery - and yes, i’m slacking and going in late, but that’s ok, because i do believe (AND DON’T PRINT THIS YET!) we will be closing our doors by the end of the month. it sounds sad, and i went through a few weeks of feeling like a failure, and then the relief sunk in, and i am just glad. our art will not go away, other galleries and shops all seem delighted to have our artists and our art, and We (HRM ME) will no longer have the stress, strain and responsibility of managing the business end of a co-op. AUGH! managing artists (or really anything other than one’s self) has about the same effect on one’s art that having kids seems to have on one’s sex life. i don't KNOW... i’m just saying.

i’m looking forward to sinking back into my own work and seeing what i can really do. my strength is not good, i may needhelp bending wire and doing other big construct, but i’ve had offers of help. other sculptors do it. :) look at chihuly’s studio!

we’ve also decided to go another round in the 48 hour film project. we’re going back to basics, and chris said i have complete carte blanche with the script. FREAKFEST! no more ms. nice guy. this will be the year of the blood cannon!!!

poor chris is working the steeplechase this weekend, on behalf of his clients at white oak. please pray for him. ;) who knows, maybe he’ll win the !@#$ HAT contest.

the upside of all this hard weekend work is that we’re continuing the Spring Theatah Fest
which began with rocking ‘the fantasticks’, crested with seeing Spamalot TWICE last weekend –

yes, our friend Jimm who does lights (and almost everything else) for TLT – called on Sunday afternoon to say he had a pair of tickets for that evening, last night of the show, and couldn’t go, could we stand it again?!?!? so i took my redneck-ass binoculars, threw on jeans and a nice sweater, and we made it to the theater with THREE minutes to spare. we had better seats AND it was better than the first time. we got to see some improv, and i was able to check out the special effects up close and personal! and this time, we went to waffle house afterward. :) *woot!*

- and the cherry on the sundae: this sunday we are going to the matinee of Les Liasons Dangereuse at BRCC, and the nightcap will be a viewing of the new Jet Li/Jackie Chan period action piece (yes, sam-porn... oh, if only Donnie Yen were in it too...)

our friend (and one of our leading ladies in last years’ 48 hour film project) Natalie Broadway (that’s her real name) is playing BRCC’s ‘madame de muertil’, one of my library “kids”, Cody Hehner, is playing ‘le chevalier de danceny’ and another saluda gallery girl, Jade Burnett, is playing ‘madame de tourvel’. they have won awards for their costuming, not to mention Natalie’s 48-hour best actress award. the whole department is rich with impressive talent, from all sides. AND tickets are less than a MOVIE. we can’t lose. i’m almost as excited about this as i was about Spamalot! (sorry BRCC, you only come in second because i don’t get a swim and free breakfast after the show! ;)

in the spaces between there are other things i HAVE to do. i have to call sandy. i have to spend a day with rosalie. i have to wind up the gallery... and speaking of, i have to go to work.

thank y’all for caring enough to care about any of this. i think those of you who regularly read know that i come here to remind myself and to get confirmation that ‘see, life isn’t all bad...you can feel something other than hurt sometimes.’. i have to fight and work real hard and stay real busy to remember that. it makes me a selfish person, and it keeps me on the edge of the record, but it’s necessary. those of you who know this and love me and support me just the same are the lagniappe of life. y’all are that little bit extra. there’s survival and coping and getting by, and then there’s the smiles and laughs and kind words and psychic pats on the back from you all, that’s what keeps me going and makes being strong not seem like such a bad thing sometimes.

much love (and more hyperlinks)

-s

*ultimately, i’m sure that it’s karma.

**i don’t care what any of you think or say, i love him. :)

***the site says it’s sold out, but neither google no amazon show any kind of listing for it, other than as a quote in the original site.