Blah humbug…

On Sunday I was trying to get some things done around the house. Chris was running errands, and I had a moment to sit and think. I realized that I was feeling down, and so I took advantage of my productive mood and made a list of the top 11 things that were making me feel depressed. Top of the list was the meds, then there was winter, the holidays, the world situation*, etc. After I made my list, I wrote the dream solution, the % possibility for achieving that solution, the % probability for achieving it, what’s in the way, and what I must do in order to just maintain health and sanity. It really does help to see it all in black and white**. I also read it to Chris when he got home, as a sort of no- nonsense ‘state of the union’ address. He was depressed that ‘boy stuff’ was even on the list.
Psh. Men.

One of the things that came to light is how much I resent the deviation from the true meaning and purpose of Yule and midwinter celebrations. Not just those, but all the seasonal celebrations that have become just another excuse to spend money at Ye Olde WalMallBingoJingoKMartVille. It makes me so sad that everyone gets down about the holidays. No one seems to look forward to it anymore – not even the kids, for fear that they’ll be disappointed. People talk about remembering ‘the reason for the season’, but even before Jesus came along, there were celebrations the entire world over during this season, and I believe that the church chose this time of the year to celebrate Jesus’ birthday because of the original purpose of this holiday season.
People say “Oh! Where’s your holiday spirit, y’old Scrooge?” but the fact of the matter is that it’s WINTER. Life is harder, food is more scarce, traveling is harder, the skies are grey and yukky, and frankly, it’s !@#$ COLD! Seasonal Affective Disorder sets in, bills go up, the whole “holiday happiness myth” weighs on the hearts and heads of normal people, old family memories surface… if you ask me, the people who are deeply cheerful and happy this time of the year are just on better drugs than everybody else.

The real, original reason for the cold-time holidays is to help everybody make it through the winter. That’s why when our grandparents tried to convince us that getting an orange, an apple and a hand full of nuts in their stocking was a BIIIIIG deal, we should have listened. In those days certain fresh fruits and vegetables were really hard to get, and quite expensive, (especially in some cases, depending on where you lived) even in the summer time. So to receive such a treat in the dead of winter was a remarkable and treasured gift. Candy, too. Meals in general, in fact, in a lot of households, so that mid-winter feast and all those treats and goodies (mmmm, Aunt Sissy’s divinity…) was the height of sharing, compassion, and laughing in the face of harsh winter. It was a way of saying “We all worked so hard in the fall that we can afford this feast, we believe that spring will come again, so we can risk this feast, and we love our friends, family and neighbors, so we are willing to share our best.”
This is the same reason that gifts like socks and sweaters, mufflers and hats, and other warm things meant so much. It was a way of showing that, even though people worked so hard during the day, just trying to survive and make some comfort, they still spent their precious evening hours and candlelight working on something to improve the quality of a loved one’s hard life. Bright hand painted pictures, scenes of green meadows and sunshine, a quilt patterned with spring colors - these things brought another kind of warmth, and the reminder that these colors WILL return to our lives. Hand-poured or –dipped candles to light the long nights, cookies or hard-candies that used a good bit of the staples (not to mention precious dried fruits, etc), a good pair of boots to make it through the snow, hand-made snow-shoes, or even a scrap doll or wooden toys to give the children something to do in the evenings when the wind is howling outside like a pack of hungry wolves.
This spirit is the reason we give gifts to this day. How have we come so far from that?

Think before you buy the Chia pet*** or the ‘Sweater Shark’ or the ‘Billy Bass’. Could you spend that same amount of money and buy some actual happiness? A board game to relieve the cabin fever? Craft kits or supplies? A nice pair of stripey long socks? Some good coffee and snacks to go with it? Or better yet, find something that you can do that is practical and thoughtful. Everyone has some skill that is useful, and you never know how creative you can be with what you have until you really explore that. Come over the week before Christmas and offer Mom a whole day of your time to help clean or move things or cook (following her instructions of course, if you can’t cook) or wrap gifts. Offer dad a “clean the garage/shed” day, or to take him to do something anti-Christmas and get him out of the madness for a few hours. Offer to drive someone into shopping hell and help carry packages; babysit for a friend so they can go out into the madness without having to worry about baby too; offer to assist in their own Christmas crafting. Maybe you have home repair skills? Maybe you can sew? Maybe you’re good at cleaning cabinets? There is definitely a way that you can give of yourself and of your time and skills, and give your loved one something that will mean more to them than a mugwarmer ever could (unless you’re Tobie.). Ask them what would mean a lot to them and do it!
I think you’d find yourself feeling a whole lot better about the holidays, and maybe even about yourself and the people around you.

Practicing what I preach and
Much love,
-s


*I honestly felt guilty that this one was only #6.
** It’s also nice to know I’m still getting a lot of benefit from all that expensive therapy.***Not that I know anyone who would, but even there is a little bit of green and growing in the dead winter, and I think the sprouts are edible too?