Hi guys.
I could spend this whole space apologizing for being so !@#$ slack, but I think that most of y'all have some idea of what I've been going through and can forgive me - hopefully. There's been so much space between posts that I've felt like I've had to have some Opus Deus ready for you guys, but then I thought: "You know what, this is supposed to be a DIARY/editorial kinda' thing. These people don't expect Great Literary Endeavors from me*. What they want is DIRT and HONESTY. And frequent updates. And maybe a laugh or two upon occasion.
I can do that.

So. Dirt.
I have a little dirt. But it's good mooshy dirt-about-me, so I will keep it brief and vague.
:)
My most excellent and lovely bf is STILL around. In nine days, we will have been dating for six months. This surely seems like a brief mayfly flicker of a relationship to some of you, but for me, the six-month line is an important one. Even if I like a guy, if it is obviously not going anywhere, then by six months (or sooner), we sort of "phase each other out". If I DO like a guy, for sure, but he is a weasel, then I have usually either figured this out by six months and dumped him, or am on the verge of figuring this out, so he dumps me. With only a few exceptions**, this has pretty much been the case every single time.
But here X and I are at the line, and it just gets sweeter and mooshier and more real every day. Scary, huh?
A week ago today was the worst pain I've experienced with this !@#$ !@#$ so far. Chris called in to his professors and then stayed home with me until he had to go to work that night. He put my blankie on the grass, brought me tea and fruit, helped me get around and lay beside me and read while I rested. He helps me around the house, leaves me nice notes and does sweet favors for me, we make each other laugh a lot, and we look forward to seeing each other and talking every day. He's not ashamed or embarassed of me in any way, he tells me often that he thinks I am beautiful and that he likes me very much. And I can tell that he means it. Yay, me.

In other dirt, "Oof, with the Ren-Faire!" Sheesh! (but also "WOW!") We have a HUGE cast this year (Stewart is playing THE starring role, that of Lord Biggles, Baron of Lower Tidmarsh and father of Rebecca, our Bride, who is REALLY getting married during the faire on Saturday. I wrote the storyline to work this in - and it's GREAT!)
We have an acting troupe, tumblers, musicians, fractured fairy-tales, rogues, ladies, kids, villagers - in other words a HUGE cast (we had 75 at auditions!). There will be song and dance, funny skits, a 'Sleeping Beauty Variety Show', more catfights than even YOU could dream up, Seamus, and lots of people, both Rennies and Muggles, having the time of their lives AND doing something good for the world...
I am one of three (very frazzled) directors. Lisa is in charge of the Chess Board (and I believe that we will have about 12 fights on the board this year - !!!), Hamilton is in charge of Logistics (scheduling the stages, making sure that we remember all the important stuff, and just general assistance, labor and moral support) and I have been in charge of writing the overall plot, planning it all out, getting all of the directors, actors and performers organized and then teaching/helping them to write their scenes, and then helping to coach them in learning and performing their scenes, plus coordinating costumes, props and subdirectors. Whee! Buffy and Brett and Ken have also been with us all along, teaching the stage-combat, helping us with the scenes and with costume and prop ideas, and mediating between the !@#$ committees, not to mention offering food, solace and shelter at the end of long days.
It's going to be a BIG show, and, if we can keep it up, a really clever, funny, fun, educational and interactive show. Yay, us!
It will be held on May 15 and 16 at the AB Tech campus in Asheville, in case any of y'all want to come and join us!

Oh, and one more bit of lovely 'dirt'... well, this is more 'dish' than 'dirt'...
'Lord willin' and the creek don't rise', I will be taking a road trip with Chris (the beau) and Esme (the truck) to Ms. on Easter weekend to attend - and SPEAK in - my beautiful Ninka's wedding!!! :D :D :D I'll also get to spend some time with Charlyn and the kids, and enjoy some old-school, down-home fam-love. Yay, me.

Now for some HONESTY.
I'm still having a hard time. My body seems to be trying to show me a number of new tricks, most of them involving new places to hurt and new levels of pain. I have made a drastic change in my diet, with no more cheating than the occasional cup of decaf, and some french fries*** last Wednesday****. I've given up wheat and sugar, caffeine and processed foods with weird ingredients. I eat a lot of rice and fruit and yogurt and other monkey/hippie/baby foods. It's not too bad. I'm learning. It helps, too, but I am also discovering that, no matter what I eat, sometimes, I am just going to hurt, or be so exhausted that I can't do ANYthing. I am reading all about it, and doing Ellie's yoga tapes, and even running a bit when I get an energy-burst. I'm fighting (bad) depression, I'm learning a lot about my body and food, I'm doing my best to make the most of the times when I feel good, in other words, I'm trying.

So, it seems like I just need to work on 'frequent updates' and 'laughs'. I'll keep trying. And HOPEFULLY, new DayOff update SOONSOONSOON! I REALLY appreciate y'all writing and calling and checking on me and asking for more. Thank you. That definitely helps keep me going.

Much love,
-Sam


*well, not EVERY time, at least...
**I was with EB for almost two years, KR for about a year, Steve for five.. and that's it.
***sorry, that's "chips" for my limey love, and "freedom fries" for those rare few right-winged freak friends of mine. :)
****the french fries, btw, caused me no grief at all. The decaf, however, can bring it on with a vengeance. Boo. But MAN, were those fries good... mmmMmMMmMmmm...