i do not, by ANY means intend to undermine the opinions of my girlfriends here. i think that my girlies, in particular, have FABULOUS taste, but ladies - we all know that when we make a drastic change to our appearance, we want to know what the BOYS think, right?
i love my new hairdo, and i think all my girlies will, too. the local ladies have proclaimed it "Daaaaarlin'!", "SO cute!" "Pixie-ish!" and have said it makes me look younger - rave reviews, in my book. and ladies, we also all know how men react when we cut all our hair off - IF they even notice (sheesh). this cut was so drastic that even the most, ah, typical of blokes couldn't miss it, and of course i had the fear that i would look (even MORE) like a boy, but what the hell. well, today, the PUBLIC OPINION polls are in.
it's saturday, which means the cutest boy in saluda might come in, so i always dress up a little. i have on my favorite black swirly spotty dress and (*gasp!*) even a little make-up and some sandals. i took my lunch stroll downtown, i had a little pink plastic shopping bag - yeah, i was lookin' cute. i walked by the store where my ex works and oh, just stopped in to get a pack of gum. he noticed. i will spare y'all the gorey details of our conversation, but lets just i could tell that he liked it... :) i continued on down the street, and when i crossed over to the bakery, the owners' brother and a couple of young guys were getting into a car. i waved and as i walked by i heard somebody holler "OWWW!"* real loud. THEN, when i got back from lunch, my friend jeff walked in, did a double-take at the hair and said "you look like SOMEbody with your hair like that, now who is it...?" i said "jeff, this better be good..." then i told him about the "OWWW!" and grinned real big. when i grinned he said "i got it! i know who it is! you look like a bleached-out HALLE BERRY!"
you know what i have to say to that?
"OWWW!"
thanks guys - i needed that. :)
xoxox
-s

*not like "owww!" as in pain, but "owww!" as in cute, cheesy, 70's appreciative wolf noise! :D

sssSSSOOooo tired... bluh! :) but catching up, slowwwwwly, but surely. i tried to kick everybody out of the libob an hour early tonight (COMpletely by accident, of course!). oops. i got my hair cut reallyreally short, too. shorter than ever before, i think. i love it. i thought it might be nice to warn y'all though. :)
otherwise, am hanging in there. mothers' day politely falls in the middle of my worst week of the year. kinda' nice to get it all crammed in together, get it out of the way. it gets easier every year. i think luna is gonna treat me to a nice long walk this year and i think i am gonna treat myself to a sushi dinner and a movie that night. yeah!
i am deliciously, decadently enjoying having my house to myself again. i can run around in nothing but my holy socks and sing loud and eat bad stuff and watch movies till 2 am and leave dishes in the sink and fling things everywhere. i can be MONKEY GIRL* again! yay! i really don't think i could live with ANYbody - not even vin - for any length of time, unless we had a HUGE house, with multiple bath rooms and kitchens. GOT THAT, VIN?! :)
i think luna is sad. she misses her day company, so i just have to work harder to amuse her. maybe i should get her a little friend...
i just found out today that i will be getting an ENORMOUS (to me) raise in january, so maybe i could afford a new friend. it's also possible that this will just be "KY" $$$, so the other possibility is that i'll be inspired to go ahead and start my own business and work from home. we shall see how things unfold...
i will keep you posted - y'all do the same.
bunches-a-skwunches!
-sam

*i am so much like a boy that i SCARE me sometimes...

Hello, all. I know everybody wants to hear about the faire, and I do have LOTS to tell - and will, but something else is on my mind - one of the main reasons why I joined the faire in the first place.
My mind plays funny tricks on me. Even though I KNOW the days, the time of year, my mind has always been good at shuffling time so that I forget important things, important days, how many years have gone by since... but this morning, while I was getting ready for work, I looked in the mirror and I saw my parents - like I do some days - and I remembered precisely what today is.
Every year, at this time, I sink myself into something big, bigger than me and all my potential for sadness. I must say that the faire and the art show were DEFINITELY that big (thank you ALL), but here I am back at this week of anniversaries and the tide rushes in.

This year, my own sadness is soft and gentle. It seems natural for the first time since it all came to pass - dad's death (may 8th, 1995) and my cousin Robbie’s murder (may 14, 1995), maybe because of time's passage, and maybe because of the fact that the bastards who did this to Robbie have finally been convicted*. Maybe it's because I’m growing up a little, too, because now I hurt more for my siblings, and for the rest of Robbie’s family. I wonder how they are, and wish that I could be with them right now. If I were home, I would take a trip to Beaumont, visit lake Perry, where we scattered** dad's ashes, and then gone to Van Gundy hill to visit Robbie’s grave and light a candle. This would have just comforted me, made me feel close to them again for a little while. But what I really want to do is be with the survivors. Sit down at Mrs. Frances' table, hug my brothers, and tell my sister a story or ten. Remember that life goes on, and that as long as I can see Mandy’s face and feel Jeff’s hands, that dad is still with us. Robbie was so young, but I have a great legacy from her - a well of strength that I was never truly aware of, one that - so far - has proven to be immeasurable and unbreakable***. I wish that I could be with the others and see how time has treated them. I wish I could do them some good.
As it is, I’m here, and I just have to put all my efforts into other places, and hope that the flow of the Universe brings it all around to my folks who need it. And maybe you’ll read this, and know that I am thinking of you this week.
All my love and strength,
-s


*Though I have just read of their latest attempt to appeal, due to having been treated "UNFAIRLY".
**Ok, PITCHED - well, the game and fish commission was chasing us, and we were doing it illegally, of course, with Luna, who was no bigger than a cat then, trying to swim out to us and us trying to remember a prayer - any prayer. I may have even said "ominous biscuits"... sorry dad. Wait, who the hell am I kidding, dad would have laughed his ASS off!
***Bendable and flexible, though – woo!