I always wanted a little sister. And then, when I was 16, I got one (just a few days before my birthday), and then almost immediately lost her. It took me years to recover from the anger (and fear) and contact her, and by then I was very afraid that it would take her a long time to get over the anger that I'd night have caused by being absent almost all of her life. I've missed ALL of her important events so far... Even is she can and does forgive me, it may take me the rest of my life. It can certainly be a vicious circle. Parents who put their kids through this kind of shite should be put in some sort of work camp for a while - until they repent and make it all right.
She didn't hate me. I also think that she doesn't really understand all the why's, but that doesn't seem to faze her. Lucky me. Now I just have to hope that I can keep from dropping the ball.
Mandy is 16 years younger than me. She is a beautiful girl, I think we resemble in some small ways - we both look a lot like our dad and our brothers Jeff and Shawn*, but she is a lot different than I am, too. She is very tall, for one thing, and she is extraordinarily fair skinned, and then her hair (which is also thick and curly) and eyes are almost black. She's also really smart (which I think we have in common) and she's a good student and Nice Girl (which I think we don't).
We didn't really grow up together, sadly. For reasons that I won't discuss here (out of common courtesy to her), I was removed from her home before she was even a year old, and it is obvious that I have missed out on a LOT.
Today she sent me a link to her webdiary. It's pretty new, so I will be able to read it from the ground up. The best thing about it (besides being able to read my sissa's diary) is that I am learning little things about her, and finding out that she and I (and the rest of our sibs, Joe, Jeff and Shawn) have lots in common, despite the years apart. She likes hot wings. And good, odd music. And she cusses like a sailor, likes to talk music and film and poetry. She likes to read a lot, and she's boy crazy. She's interested in language, and she digs forensics. She likes to people-watch.
I can't wait to find out more.
I really hope that somehow time and tides conspire to bring us closer together. I want to know her. I want to watch her talk. I want to know what her hands look like. I want to become familiar with her voice. I want to know what she believes in. I want to be someone that she might like and maybe even respect one day.

Each of you that reads this, make a wish for me today, wish that this happens. I like the idea of the five of us being a Family. I want the chance for us to understand each other, and the past, to the best of our ability. I want us to be able to help each other, support each other, believe in each other, and not let the Big Shadows that the previous generation cast over us darken our world and diminish our chances any more.

To the Lovelace Kids - SLAINTE!
:)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
-sam

*though they all have dark eyes and darker hair and skin, like dad. Joe and I got mom's anglo coloring. pretty too, but different. mom and i are peaches, they are cocoa beans (dad) or brazil nuts (mandy) or hazel nuts (shawn) or just nuts (jeff... :D just kidding... well, sorta! ;)